The Return of Hugo in All His Glory

  Yes, ladies and gentlehobos, dwarves and dancers, nerds and female maroon autos, it is I.  Hugo.  I have come back to you after my three months' absence.  I, from whom you never expected to hear again, have set the echoing corridors of this cardboard blog ringing with my dulcet tones once more.  Do those dulcet tones fall sweetly upon your grateful ears?  Are you pleased at my reappearance?  Did you miss me dreadfully and soak your melancholy pillows each night with anguished tears at my prolonged absence? 
  Alas, I know that it is not so.  You never missed me.  Ah, well, such is the fate of scruffy old hobos who wear tattered crimson rags and sit on the side of the road spouting wisdom and prophecy and maudlin purple prose. 
  Okay, now that that is out of my system...
  Hi!  'Sup?  My summer was, like, totally great.  How was yours?  Joe?  Did you find any cute nail polish?  I so did.  It was, like, hot pink.  So pretty!  I wore it with that adorable outfit that I bought at Forever 21.  You know, the one that I got for, like, twenty bucks.  I  couldn't believe it!  It was, like, a steal!  I just had to have it!  Totally!  Well, I have to go and, like, do PoliSci reading and stuff.  OMG!  I LOVE PoliSci!  The teacher is, like, so funny.  It's just great.  Well, I've gotta go.  See ya!

~Hugo

Beyond an Epic Fail

     Remember how I said that we can’t function well when we hobos are apart? Well, at least with this blog, it’s true. Ah, what a tragic summer it has been. We three, mostly separated. Yesterday, we almost had a reunion! Bebo was there, as well as Lenard, Hugo, and some others. But, reader, it was I, Joe, who was missing from the party (and the Dancing Dwarf, but that creature doesn’t really count). Bebo spend a good amount of time trying to convince me to visit him and his horse. I failed in that epically. And he failed in forcing me out of the house. We are failures to each other.
     Have you noticed this horrible fact? I’m the only one who’s posted since school got out. They must have lives… Well, in Hugo’s case, fictional lives… But I’ve read plenty this summer! And I’ve written a lot. Among other things. And what does he do? Read. And facebook. Probably uses the heavy stuff, too, disfiguring his face…
     Hugo, this is a public announcement telling you to check your email! Of course, you never check this blog. You only know what’s being said through your email. It’s a never-ending loop with you, isn’t it?
     Oh, look. I uncovered another one of our failures.
     Guess what? School starts tomorrow. Blah. But hey, maybe Hugo’ll post again… Of course, Mr. Bebo is NOT coming back. Oh, what sadness! And Razzle! He’ll never be seen again, the poor automobile.
     My life is so drab. Yesterday, my highlight was putting on a pair of jeans. Oh, and right before I went to sleep I found out some awesome info about a college. But I have a stalker. Of the feline variety. Every stinkin’ place I go. Whoosh! And he’s there. Right now, he’s a couple inches away. I should really get a restraining order from this ally cat. He’s very persistent.
     Stalker cats, horsy reunions, and heavy fictional facebooking. It’s official. We fail at life.
     Joe