Someone Horrible Turned Old Today!

     Someone horrible is turning Old today. He’s all, “Look at me! I can a bike for miles! I love the sun! I shall worship it now! Let’s make today important because I am now Old and others must take precious time today to give me their happiest wish or demand I am happy, even though those are utterly outrageous things to do!”

     I, on the other hand, have a broken window (boxes are so much easier to fix. I’ve not needed to use my duct tape once, here!), and it’s snowing. Fancy that, snowing on Christmas Island… We like to create a realistic atmosphere, although we don’t have control of the snow. Now we’ll have plenty of Frostys and snowball fight barriers in place for the big day!

     I don’t like snow. I’m not cheery, jolly, or merry. I’m not even Mary. Although I’m Joe… I have my place. I’m just not thrilled about it. Hey, at least I’m not an elf. Psh, slavery is SO not my thing. Maybe this winter I’ll hide in my home and be shipped off as a toy to some good girl or boy… Then, you know, dart off before they find me. Maybe I’ll leave some pork jerky to get them started in a new life as a hobo… I might even leave the box if I’ve arranged to stay elsewhere.

     Oh. So, Hugo, this is for you.

I wish you a Joe birthday,

I wish you a Joe birthday,

I wish you a Joe birthday,

And force happiness on you!

Joe