Voldemort’s Nose and Other Uncomfortable Subjects

Hello, reader. Are you procrastinating on something? Whenever I go on Facebook, a blog, YouTube, Netflix, MLIA, etc…, I am procrastinating. When the power is out, there are books. Of course, I use books without power… Am I right in assuming you are procrastinating? (Right now, I’m not (very much). I finished my homework for tomorrow! Aren’t you proud?)

I have decided that, since Bebo and Hugo, who may actually beat me in the art of procrastination, are always busy, that while I wait to post my next blog, each day I will (shortly) write about a few things. Let’s see how long this gets!

11-28-10

1.     Today, while I was washing my face, I saw my nose (without use of a mirror). I’m glad my nose isn’t huge. It’s… medium-average-kinda large. Not giant. It would obscure my vision otherwise! Wouldn’t it? And what about the people with minute noses, such as my sister and mom? What about those with even smaller sniffers? Can they see the outline of their noses? This inevitably led to me thinking about this as it applies to You-Know-Who (AKA, the future Tom Riddle). Yes, I’m a dork.

2.     My sister and I had to wash the cat today. She walked and rolled in something (Heh, sounds like rock ‘n’ roll…). It was a challenge. She’s still younger. She’s feisty. I have battle scars.

11-30-10

1.     If you’re like me, you know that No-Shave-November ends tomorrow. My manly legs have been disturbing my sister, Hugo, and Bebo. Of course, it’s not like I have any reason to dull my razor blade when I haven’t been wearing shorts, skirts, etc… in public (because I may just be wearing shorts now…). Since I still have no need to shave, and I do love to see disturbed faces, I’m not sure if I’ll kill my manliness tomorrow. Hmm…

2.     Yesterday was Switch-shoes-with-someone day! How did you celebrate? Hugo the Horrible was horrible and didn’t participate. I traded shoes with the hobo. We didn’t get to see each other again until this morning, so while his slippers spent the night at my house, they may have had their insides invaded and sneezed on by a cat.

3.     My day was awkward. I scared creepily into three classrooms, walked around campus in the rain, Bebo’s umbrella fell onto my head while I used it, completely failing its duties, breaking at the same time (I’m innocent I tell you, innocent!), silently barged into a class I’m not in right after I covered the outside of my right leg in mud when I slipped while jumping in the unsatisfyingly uncrunchy leaves, and accidentally stalked people, again…

4.     Yesterday, I went to a music store. The man working there was dreadfully friendly, and I’m-so-comfortable-in-my-skin-ish. Somehow, it got to the subject of my writing (Thank you, mother). He inevitably asked the most heinous question he could think of: “What do you write?” I was thinking of the most recent novel I’ve started for NaNoWriMo (Stands for National Novel Writing Month), which contains the unromantic story of a man and woman who accidentally stalk each other, a murder takes place, there are mud fights, spilled food, blood, and loud arguments all in the name of comedy (and adventure mystery). It will, of course, end in the most unexpected way (Hahaha!). And this is the simplified version. My previous work has consisted of almost every genre (I have many incomplete stories, most of which I am still devoted to). I even have one (complete) children’s book. None of these are published. But what should I have done! I told the blasted man that I wrote a variety. He kept prodding me, the insolent man. In the end, I looked like a psychopath. Why, you ask? Well, it ended up with me talking about my more tragic, adventurous, interesting stories where someone always dies. Death, and in diverse and multitudinous ways.

12-01-10

1.     Hugo escaped from school today. She was last seen fleeing to her horse. As such, I had to rely on Bebo to be smart all on his own, along with a friend of ours. I took a test, they held my bag. Once I was done, they had disappeared! They stole my bag. I had to badger the poor receptionist, who turned out to be not so poor, since she took delight in the fact that my friends stole my backpack! After at least fifteen minutes (I’m really not sure how long. They had my cell phone.) I went to class (late), leaving a note with the receptionist. My friends, Hugo aside (for now), are true blondes. They repeatedly called my phone, trying to reach me! Put it together! ‘Tis simple! Then I went to ANOTHER class, leaving ANOTHER note with the amused receptionist. Finally, right as I headed to my last class, I found Bebo. It was about time. I was pretty hungry.

2.     NaNoWriMo ended yesterday. I failed, miserably. I knew I would, but it’s still a sad feeling. If I had done this last year, when I had no life, I’m sure it would have been easy.

12-02-10

1.     I’m a horribly impatient person. Bebo and Hugo have a life, which is why they take their time, and I post my two cents within a day later. Grr. I need a life (even though right now I may be procrastinating in homework, cleaning, reading, and writing for fun. Hmm…).

2.     #1Leads me to #2: I am thinking of starting another blog. Would you follow me, you few readers? This one would mostly be the more serious things that don’t include Bebo and Hugo, those busy hobo friends of mine. The idea is still in the making.

3.     Cheese waffles are amazing. Yum!

4.     Why is cheese a constant thing in my life, either as a writing theme, common ingredient, or way of luring me?

5.     Now I want cheese… But I just had a cheese waffle. Oh, life’s debates.

12-03-10

1.     I am so happy! I could almost sing! But I won’t. I can’t disturb my sleeping cat.

2.     I forgot to bring my cheese to school today. It was a startling realization.

3.     Hugo (bless his ignorant soul) forgot to say that one of us has two days left of school, another one, and the last, zero! Starting with the former, the name equivalent is Bebo, Hugo, and Joe. HAHA! I have triumphed over them. But I should not have said so. Throughout the quarter, I routinely received the cold glares of those hobos. I even got an end-of-the-quarter party in one of them. Of course, they benifitted, as they came in at the end to steal food (It is supposed to be a cold winter this year).

4.     I did end up killing my manliness yesterday (See 11-30-10, #1.). I fell somewhat disappointed, in an odd sort of way.

5.     I’m going somewhere with Hugo tonight. I’m worried because he said that no one, once they have gone there before, ever wants to go again. But I was there two weeks ago. Should I be concerned?

6.     Last night, I was a part of the game Cutthroat Mafia (The Mafia’s randomly selected. You walk around in the dark. If the mafia runs their finger across your neck, you die.). Someone killed me. Later, when I was in the “graveyard,” I asked each Mafia member, as they died, if they had killed me. Every single one said no. I’m on to you, you secret, murderous townsperson!  I will be avenged for this horrid false death of mine. And… please don’t ever fire a fake gun in my direction, ‘kay?

Joe